Thursday, 26 January 2012

Another Year Older

Tuesday was my birthday. It wasn't much different from any other day. I allowed myself a little lee-way in my healthy eating, but really it was just a normal day.

Except it wasn't.

My mum and sister's dog was put to sleep that morning. Bonnie was very elderly, and had become increasingly frail in body and mind. The vet went to the house. I'm glad, because that will have reduced the stress of the situation significantly.

The twins also needed to go for their vaccinations. My sister very kindly came to help me get them ready, and also came with me to the clinic. It was good for me to get some help, and it was good for my sister. She had just lost a beloved pet, and needed something to do. Smiling when you're that sad is hard to do, but there's one thing that's harder.

Trying NOT to smile, when a small child is smiling at you.

Children, although they can be impish, exhausting, fractious, and perplexing are one thing above all.

They are healer's. It is at the very core of their being. They heal hearts that are hurting, they help heal our selfish tendencies, and the lack of hope that can flatten us at times.

They are healer's, they are possibility, they are hope.

I couldn't have had a better birthday.

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Time to do...what?

Being a mummy of twins is joyful, fun, love-filled, hectic, and at times, bloomin' hard work. A trip to the grocery store becomes like a military operation. Even a simple walk is only embarked upon when everyone has been fed, changed, and dressed. Some days, it's a toss up between cleaning some part of the house or cleaning me.

I'm very lucky in that my family live very near by, and I know that if the weather is atrocious, or I just want to get there and back quickly, someone will watch the twins while I nip to the shops. I'm blessed to have a husband who will do the same, and who will watch them for longer stretches to let me get out of the house.

Here's the thing though. When I do get time to myself, I feel bad about using it to do anything relaxing, or frivolous. I end up using that time to run errands, or pick up groceries, or stuff we need for the twins.

I think part of the problem, is that I don't plan what I want to do. Another is that hubby is usually off at the weekend, when everything is mobbed. Going anywhere noisy and crowded does not relax or rejuvinate me. I would return irritable and stressed, not refreshed and calmed. That's no use to anyone.

In the mean time, any and all suggestions are welcome. What do YOU do with your 'me' time? If you're like me, and end up running errands, have a think. What would you LIKE to do? (No, it's not silly) Thought of something? Great! Now go and have fun. We all need and deserve it.

Thursday, 5 January 2012

Setting the foundations

I'm now a few days into this Healthier Me malarkey, and it hasn't been as hard as I thought. Maybe that's because I want it more than I have in the past, maybe it's because of the awesome help and support I'm getting, maybe it's because of the twins. I don't know, I just know that I WANT THIS.

Already, after just a few days, I'm starting to feel better. I thought I must be imagining it, until last night when my husband said 'Don't you feel like you have more energy? I know I do.'

Yes I do.

I'm also learning to have more respect for myself, and for the God-given body I have. God is the Master-Craftsman, and I (like you, and you too) am one of his carvings. Or, to put it another way that's been used before, my body is an engine God has created, an engine that needs good fuel to run the way it was intended.

I am worth that fuel.

I am worth the time it takes to make a lunch, even if it's just me who's there to eat it.

I am worth the price of a punnet of blueberries.

This is a learning curve, right now I'm weighing and measuring what I eat meticulously. This will ease off as I learn to gauge proper portion sizes by eye, but right now, it's all part of the learning process.

I'm also learning that healthy food is, well, nice! It's tasty, it looks good (I'm a big believer that we eat with our eyes first)

Now, my diet was not atrocious before, it was just a bit high on the content side of things, and there were probably more sweeties and processed foods than is good for a body. I did eat veg, and fruit, and meat, and fish.

Eating healthier is also enjoyable, because I THINK about what I'm eating. Think about it, plan it, and look forward to it, rather than shoving any old crap on a plate in a last-minute panic.

This is a lifelong journey, but my walking shoes are tied, my knapsack's on my bag, and I'm ready to go a-wandering along that mountain track.