Step by Step

Still no luck on the job hunting front for my husband or me. I know we just have to keep plodding along, applying, working at finding work, bit by bit, but it can be so discouraging. I'm trying to work on my attitude, because I know me being snappy and negative doesn't help anyone. But I fail at this, a lot, and it isn't fair to my family.

I finally caved and took the twins to a toddlers' group. It was fine, they had fun playing about. At song time, Gareth held back close to me, but Molly was right in among things shaking a toy tambourine. I'll take them again, it's good for them to have a large hall, and other kids to play with, especially since a lot of the time now, it's too wet to take them to the park. I'm glad as well, that I don't really have to interact much with other people while I'm there, just keep an eye on my kids. That suits me fine. I'm not there to make friends, I'm there because apparently it's good for Molly and Gareth.

We separated their cots a few days ago. They had been pushed together to make one big, enclosed double cot. The first night didn't work out well, I think because we had the beds at different sides of the room. I don't think they liked being so far apart. The next day, I moved things around so the beds only had a narrow gap between them, and since then (knock on wood) they've been settling fine. Next thing to tackle is potty training.

Even though it's only September, signs of Christmas are everywhere in the shops. There are mince pies along side the treacle toffee, selection boxes next to the Halloween treat bags and witches hats. The commercialization saddens me, but it's the way of the world, and it reminds me that it's better to think about these things in advance, rather than panicking at the last minute. Especially since this year, I'm hoping to focus on home made things, and that takes time, and planning. It also means that the little I do buy will be spread over a few pays, which is always the smart way to do it. My booklet of saver stamps, which I've been collecting since early summer, is almost full, and that's what will pay for the Christmas food and drinks.

So, really, this is a hard and stressful time, but I'm trying to take some cues from nature and the world around me. I love autumn, with it's colours, textures, crispness and cosiness. I lovely the homely evenings, and how the very world seems to slow down, and rest. I love the reminder in every changing leaf, in every ripe berry on the hedgerow, and in every flock of geese overhead, that whatever happens, the world keeps turning, the seasons keep changing, and we all go on, step by step.