Messages of Grace

I'll start with a confession. I wasn't going to go to Mass today. It was pouring with rain, I'd rebuilt the kids' 'tent' (a blanket stretched between 2 sofas) about 5 times. I hadn't slept particularly well. The kids' car seats weren't in the car, and I'd let my husband sleep in. Frankly, it all seemed a bit much. But, my husband offered to watch the twins while I went to Mass alone, and then went to run some errands. Since I just had enough time to make it to Mass, I went.

I'm so, so glad I did. Our parish has been without a priest since the sudden death in May of Fr Jim, the much-loved parish Priest. Today, it was the new Bishop of the diocese who said the Mass. The gospel was the feeding of the five thousand, one of my favourites. The homily delighted and revived me. The Bishop didn't do the usual 'everyone was fed, what a miracle!' approach to this gospel, he concentrated on how Jesus might have felt. He reminded us of the context - that Jesus had just learnt of the death of John the Baptist. He reminded us that Jesus was shocked, and grieving, and had originally went off in an attempt to be alone, and pray, and mourn his loved one. Jesus was struggling, but the people needed him. They needed healing, and teaching, and they needed feeding, and despite his own struggles, Jesus gave them what they needed.

As the Bishop pointed out, God knows our struggles. He is with us in our struggles, and he gives us the strength to do what we need to, whether its a little or a lot. He reminded us that God says, 'I know you struggle sometimes, and I know sometimes you feel overwhelmed, and that everything is getting on top of you.'

But most of the time, you're doing ok. Most of the time, you're doing good. 

In the midst of our troubles, and our insecurity, and from the distorted, flawed viewpoint of our humanity, its hard to remember that God is with us in our struggles. We tend to want to see God as a benevolent fairy, who will click his fingers, and magic our troubles away. But that's not what God's grace is. It's knowing that God is with you in the midst of your struggles that he understands, and is patient with us.  That he is working in us - even if we don't feel it. And it's understanding that God knows we're not perfect, and he knows we struggle, but that  he smiles on us, and walks beside us,  and says 'I know its hard sometimes, but mostly, you're doing ok.'

Summer, Sun, and Sea

We've been blessed with a pretty great summer in Scotland this year, rather than the usual constant-drizzle-that's-a-bit-warmer-than-usual. Kids have been able to play in the garden, I've been able to potter about, and get loads of laundry dried outside. It's lovely.

Last week, my mum very kindly booked us a few days in a caravan in Ayrshire, on the Firth of Clyde. The site was a few miles outside of town, and close to Alloway, a very pretty village, and the birthplace of the poet Robert Burns. We could see fields, cows, and the sea from the caravan. Completely relaxing. I could sit outside, in the sunshine, with a book, and look up every now and then to watch the twins play, or just smile at the view.

There were trips to the beach, we found a beautiful spot called Croy Shore. As were driving one day, I saw a sign saying 'shore, 1 mile', so I took the turn off. A narrow road led down, past another caravan park, past houses. At one point I thought that we couldn't go any further, but we did. Down, and winding, the trees and plants hanging ever closer to the road on each side, until we reached the bottom, and saw the sand, just on the other side of some rocks, and the sea beyond. It was a beautiful spot. Clean sand, and clear water that was shallow for a long way out. We all paddled happily (the twins once they got used to it). I buried my toes under the sand, and watched the water rinse them clean. I pointed out prawns burrowing, and crabs scuttling to the twins. Gareth was a bit nervous when he saw that there were crabs scuttling around as he paddled. Molly preferred to stay near the edges looking for pretty shells, but Gareth dove right in with his daddy, jumping on his back and playing what they call 'Dragon Rider' I could hear him sometimes saying to my husband, 'come on, Dragon!' Molly kept exclaiming that things were lovely, and beautiful, and her favourite! Gareth told anyone who would listen that 'Me Gareth Parr, on my hodidays! Beach, swimming, I like it!'

We pottered, and paddled, and rested. Even when at the beach with the kids, even when moving, it was restful. Looking at nature, gazing over the sea, feeling the sand under your feet. Feeling the difference in the water, warm and cooler as you move. All this is good for body and soul.